Greetings ladies and gentleberries, firstly I would like to introduce myself. Some of you may know me as ‘the’ Le Patrol Fruit Ninja. I was mistakenly delivered to Patrol Base on a cold, foggy, miserable night by FedEx. I am the only object in the world that has a bottomless magazine when it comes to the slaughtering of fruit goods. However I prefer just to be called Le Fruit Ninja as it gives me a major ego boost!
My story began a long, long time ago in a dojo quite far away from the town of Huddersfield. Up in the snowy mountains of Clementine Kiwi, my master of the gunslingers Sensei Pomegranate had just finished devastating a family of helpless fruit cocktails. I was young and raised by pandas and lived off a diet of bamboo and watermelons, but after the conflict of the Avocado Kumquats and the Huckleberry Guavas my so called parents abandoned me. I was left with Sensei, but I didn't care as watching the slaughter of the innocent fruit cocktails brought happiness and motivation into my eyes, the sight of splattered fruits and the sound of screaming tangerines made me forget about my past. It became natural, a hobby, and an obsession!
Training began almost straight away, the Sensei trained me on foam darts before I moved onto the soft air advanced weaponry, it didn't take me long to master each stage of the ranked challenges. I was professional and the best at my game however, not everyone thought that! Not long after my last 6 shooter showdown, the evil Cranberry Currant sent a team of his highly trained banana prunes to kidnap me and take me as far away from my homeland as possible. But this plan backfired when my skills managed to aid me during the transportation when I parachuted from a flaming fireball of a plane. I landed in the middle of an urban jungle, I was alone and oblivious to my surroundings until I found FedEx, he dropped me off at what is now my home.
I then met my new family, and soon adopted the name of Le Patrol Ninja. You may see me on videos where my talents are documented in the form of Airsoft reviews and weapon handling. I will always be the Le Patrol Fruit Ninja!
Written by Karl, who has written a total of 202 posts.
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